Its raining posts, rather its discovery time. While cleaning up my cupboard, i chanced upon my old diary where i had written this one. Dating back to february* this year when it was written, it is finally seeing the light of the day in the month of june, without much of editing.
Lord Alfred Tennyson** asks in ‘In Memoriam’
“I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all …”
It’s a question that has baffled the youth since time immemorial that is it actually better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Love is a very powerful feeling and has known to have not only immense creative powers but destructive powers as well. It not only guides the heart, but the mind and soul along too, and makes people behave in the most unexpected ways. It’s capable of stirring the deepest of the feelings, and causes such vibrations that people are often ignorant about. Love, emotions, feelings, intimacy- the cause of every happiness and laughter, but also of pain and sufferings, of well being and also of sickness. Every youth who has been through the heartbreak zone have experienced two extremities of exultation and of grief. Love is also like life- the roller coaster ride of highs and lows, of crests and of abysms. The joy of anticipation of calls & of love messages, the sweet nothings whispered in the ears, the sensation of the first touch, hours of preparations before the meetings, the long phone calls and the even longer meetings, the childish pleasures in lying and hiding from everybody and then getting caught deliberately, the sense of security and belongingness that envelopes the couples- ahh! Nothing beats the moments of ecstasies, not even the knowledge that they won’t last forever & the sense of void that will be left thereafter in the heart. But who thinks about separation when the heart is doing somersaults and singing to the tunes of the violin? The experience of being in love- to be able to love and be loved, to care for someone and be cared for, craving to be with someone and know the feelings are reciprocated- the beauty lies in sharing and caring. The heart longs to listen to slow, romantic music while the thoughts always drift to a single person only. Everything looks complete and meaningful when you are with your special one, and you don’t need anyone else anymore. Somehow everything gets associated with them, and brings back scores of sweet bitter memories of conversations, meetings, secret jokes and what else and what not. Nothing can replace the long hours of sipping coffee together, hand in hand, lost deep into each others eyes, going for movies and not watching it, long drives, cuddling to each other, stealing kisses in between oblivious to the world, enjoying each other’s company in the cocooned world of lovers; life suddenly becomes all bright and rosy.
But these moments are always so short lived, as Neruda** puts it, “love is so short, forgetting is so long.” After the person makes a hasty exit from your life due to some misunderstandings or the other, suddenly the world goes topsy turvy and the walls of security crashes down. Feelings go awry, laden with guilt, regrets, pain, and tears, sudden mood swings, coupled with suicidal grief. A feeling of betrayal, sense of loss, frustration, hopelessness and above all helplessness develops, and suddenly it becomes all the more important to pick up the threads of life and reunite with family and friends who had all along lain neglected. But still that feeling of anguish does not go away so easily, and the questioning of self becomes more intensified. Dialling and redialling that number but never being able to muster up the courage to speak, going through all the old chats and emails and messages, visiting all the old places, promising to destroy the old memories in the form of cards and token gifts yet postponing the task… post break up period is not that easy to handle. Yet the point is that love is a journey, not the destination, so life needs to move on.
* i had a huge crush on someone, and it got crushed just like that. But this is not a personal story, neither has it emerged out of personal experiences. Its more inspired by an article i read in the newspaper around that time.
** i am a literature graduate, what else can be expected out of me?
Lord Alfred Tennyson** asks in ‘In Memoriam’
“I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all …”
It’s a question that has baffled the youth since time immemorial that is it actually better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Love is a very powerful feeling and has known to have not only immense creative powers but destructive powers as well. It not only guides the heart, but the mind and soul along too, and makes people behave in the most unexpected ways. It’s capable of stirring the deepest of the feelings, and causes such vibrations that people are often ignorant about. Love, emotions, feelings, intimacy- the cause of every happiness and laughter, but also of pain and sufferings, of well being and also of sickness. Every youth who has been through the heartbreak zone have experienced two extremities of exultation and of grief. Love is also like life- the roller coaster ride of highs and lows, of crests and of abysms. The joy of anticipation of calls & of love messages, the sweet nothings whispered in the ears, the sensation of the first touch, hours of preparations before the meetings, the long phone calls and the even longer meetings, the childish pleasures in lying and hiding from everybody and then getting caught deliberately, the sense of security and belongingness that envelopes the couples- ahh! Nothing beats the moments of ecstasies, not even the knowledge that they won’t last forever & the sense of void that will be left thereafter in the heart. But who thinks about separation when the heart is doing somersaults and singing to the tunes of the violin? The experience of being in love- to be able to love and be loved, to care for someone and be cared for, craving to be with someone and know the feelings are reciprocated- the beauty lies in sharing and caring. The heart longs to listen to slow, romantic music while the thoughts always drift to a single person only. Everything looks complete and meaningful when you are with your special one, and you don’t need anyone else anymore. Somehow everything gets associated with them, and brings back scores of sweet bitter memories of conversations, meetings, secret jokes and what else and what not. Nothing can replace the long hours of sipping coffee together, hand in hand, lost deep into each others eyes, going for movies and not watching it, long drives, cuddling to each other, stealing kisses in between oblivious to the world, enjoying each other’s company in the cocooned world of lovers; life suddenly becomes all bright and rosy.
But these moments are always so short lived, as Neruda** puts it, “love is so short, forgetting is so long.” After the person makes a hasty exit from your life due to some misunderstandings or the other, suddenly the world goes topsy turvy and the walls of security crashes down. Feelings go awry, laden with guilt, regrets, pain, and tears, sudden mood swings, coupled with suicidal grief. A feeling of betrayal, sense of loss, frustration, hopelessness and above all helplessness develops, and suddenly it becomes all the more important to pick up the threads of life and reunite with family and friends who had all along lain neglected. But still that feeling of anguish does not go away so easily, and the questioning of self becomes more intensified. Dialling and redialling that number but never being able to muster up the courage to speak, going through all the old chats and emails and messages, visiting all the old places, promising to destroy the old memories in the form of cards and token gifts yet postponing the task… post break up period is not that easy to handle. Yet the point is that love is a journey, not the destination, so life needs to move on.
* i had a huge crush on someone, and it got crushed just like that. But this is not a personal story, neither has it emerged out of personal experiences. Its more inspired by an article i read in the newspaper around that time.
** i am a literature graduate, what else can be expected out of me?
3 comments:
it's sounds a little cliched and a bit to descriptive. wld suggest to edit a little. the cntent is gud and yes sumtimes it's difficult to forget a person so in tht espect i agree to wht u hv said.
@krittika
hey thanks dear... bt editing wont b feasible nw... so wont change anything per say... bt definately wud keep these things in mind from d nxt tym round....
People should read this.
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